let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
