If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize