and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
