so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
