I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
