if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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