Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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