so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
