2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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