He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
