The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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