no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
