Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
