Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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