We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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