Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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