there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
