We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
