that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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