I want to make a zoo with you.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
