Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
