walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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