i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
