im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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