I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
