Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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