Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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