dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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