she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
