I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
