I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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