She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
A bitchslap is in order.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
