where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
there is glitter all over my balls
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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