i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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