I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
