so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
