My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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