Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
