oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
