A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
