We're facebook friends in real life
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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