The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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