i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
