I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
