.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
