i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
