Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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