Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
