I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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