the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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