My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
