i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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