I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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