About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
