u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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