where does the pee come out of this thing
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
