The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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