She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
