How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
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