ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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