cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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