jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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