i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
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