All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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