1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize