Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
