Whod you bang
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
