I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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