remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
